02 Nov 2009 02:55pm | Posted by Steve Rogers | Steve Rogers' Column
Lessons Learned From the Pecan Hustlers
To some, I have a reputation for being a jerk -- obstinate, intolerant, condescending, short-tempered, competitive; an "ass" is the kind way of putting it. In reality, that's a psychological veneer -- most people have one of some kind or another -- to cover my own insecurities. So people often are surprised when they learn about my sensitive side -- my flowers, which I admit I haven't kept as well as I should this year, my garden, my children, my mother and even some of my charitable work. When I worked in New York, few of my friends understood the dichotomy between the ass and the time I spent working with the homeless. I recently did something that is gnawing at me. I arrived home the other day to find three strangers -- a woman and two men -- lounging -- two of them literally were lying in the grass -- in my yard filling buckets with pecans. "What do you think you are doing?" I snapped. "We had permission," the woman, who apparently was the leader of the group, replied timidly through a toothy grin as she rose to greet me. "Who gave you permission?" my eyes flashing with a mixture of anger and disbelief. "The lady in the white truck...we asked her..." the woman said meekly as she tried to defend their trespassing. I told them I would have been the only one to give permission and that I hadn't. Somewhere in our brief exchange, I think I told them I didn't mind, I just wish they'd asked. I stormed past them into the house as they retreated to the other side of the yard. A few moments later, I heard the doors close on their car and it pull away. I assume they felt guilty or didn't understand that I'd said -- unconvincingly, I'm sure -- it was okay. Since that day, I've felt guilty. You see, I have two large -- and productive -- pecan trees. The nuts form a crunchy carpet on my front and side yards. The squirrels treat the grounds as a personal smorgasbord. More than once I've returned home to find two or three of them sitting on their haunches on my front porch, nuts grasped firmly in their front paws, gleefully munching away. They look at me with disdain, as if I've interrupted the king's private dinner. It's probably the same look I gave my three visitors. I inadvertently left the back door unlocked recently and it blew open. Investigating a curious noise I heard coming from the kitchen, I found two squirrels sitting on the counter, chowing down on pecans they'd brought inside. I felt like I should offer them a bib and apologize for intruding on their date night. But the squirrels are the only ones making any use of the bounty. The ones they don't eat, they bury and then dig them up the next year. I'm left wondering how they know where they've stashed their treasure from year to year. The rest go to waste. I've told people previously they could get pecans anytime. A few have taken me up on the offer. Someone should use them for pies, holiday treats or just snacks. The visitors may have needed them to sell to supplement their incomes or help feed their families. So why was I so upset? Was it that they were strangers, did I feel invaded or threatened, was I just having a bad day? I don't know. I had a chance -- they don't come around often enough -- to brighten their day, spread a little cheer, and demonstrate the kindness of sharing. We all could use a little more of that in our lives in this day and time. Instead, I was a jerk. I wish I knew who they were. I'd like to apologize, to tell them they can have all the pecans they can use and most of all, to thank them for reminding me of who I should strive to be, who we all should strive to be.
Thanks Steve! We all have our moments when hind sight is 20/20 in these situations. You however took your hind sight and used it to remind others how their actions (not just your own) really do impact the lives of strangers. 
