GOLDEN TRIANGLE, Miss. (WCBI)- When someone you love is lost due to an act of violence, it can be hard to deal with.
It can be even harder when it’s another family member who caused it to happen.
From anger toward the person who took their loved one away, to denial that they would do something to harm someone so close, the emotions felt by families are complex and different for each person.
When violence invades a family, the impact can be felt by more than just the victim and the attacker.
“It’s extremely difficult when you have a family member that’s a victim and the person that did it it’s also a family member. It could be very conflicting, because part of the family probably wants to feel sympathy towards the victim who has been harmed, but naturally some family members are also concerned about the person who is suspected of doing the crime it can cause a lot of conflicts,” said Scott Colom.
Everyone deals with grief differently. Some people get angry while others go into denial.
But most people realize their trust has been broken.
“Is a problem of trust because then it begins to erode your ability to feel. Like, you know who you can trust and who you cannot. I didn’t think this person was capable of an act that way, how do I know all these other people I know or anyone I might meet in the future will not be capable of that sense of the betrayal,” said Francis Baird.
And in these cases, the victim isn’t the only person the family is losing.
“It’s a lose-lose situation. Much of the violent crime that happens it’s a lose-lose particularly murderers, because the person who is killed obviously is gone forever, and the family members will never be able to see him or her again, but the person who did it is going to be in prison for the vast majority of their life,” said Colom.
Professional Counselor Francis Baird says that accepting help can start the road to recovery.
“Be open to people that are trying to help sometimes there is a tendency to cut ourselves off from people because we’re grieving because were in such pain and because sometimes our mental processes begin to slow down and we don’t interact as well,” said Baird.
Baird told us that the amount of time grieving is different for each individual.
It is important that others don’t rush the process.